In a previous article, we showed how Baha’u’llah would refer to his deniers as animals, donkeys, pigs and bastards. In the current article we will show a number of instances where Abdu’l-Baha insults Muslims, Christians, Jews, covenant-breakers, and atheists in the name of humor and cracking jokes.

Atheists

In one instances, Abdu’l-Baha compares atheist philosophers with cows and then, when a lady refers to a herd of cattle as a crowd of philosophers, laughs so much that he tires himself:

“After delivering the message of God and explaining the divine teachings, the Master spoke humorously about the philosophers. They say that had there been a spiritual world they would have sensed it. But, as a matter of fact, inability to sense a thing is not a proof of the nonexistence of that thing. If inability to sense constitutes proof of perfection, the cow must be the greatest philosopher, for she does not realize anything beyond the animal world.

This amusing statement that the cow is the greatest of all philosophers caused everyone to laugh. After the meeting, some men and women invited Him to go for a ride in their automobile. While driving, a herd of cows passed in front of the automobile and, becoming frightened, began to run about every which way. The ladies in the car cried out, `Oh Master, see the crowd of philosophers. How frightened they are running away from us.' `Abdu'l-Bahá laughed so heartily that He tired Himself. As the Americans like such jests, it became an oft- repeated remark.” (Abdu'l-Bahá and Mirza Mahmud-i-Zarqani, Mahmúd's Diary: The Diary of Mírzá Mahmúd-i-Zarqání Chronicling 'Abdu'l-Baha's Journey to America, chap. 6)

Followers of Abrahamic religions

It has been narrated that Abdu’l-Baha enjoyed making fun of the followers of the Abrahamic religions by mentioning the following story:

“There was once a Muslim, a Christian and a Jew who were rowing across the sea in a small boat. The weather turned nasty and the waves grew mountainous. The Muslim began praying fervently. “Allah,” he intoned, “drown this infidel of a Christian.” About that same time, the Christian began supplicating God. “O Father,” he said, “cast this Muslim down to the bottom of the sea.” During all this, the Jew remained silent. The Muslim and the Christian demanded to know why he wasn’t praying. “I am praying,” the Jew replied, “I’m asking the Lord to answer both your prayers.”” (http://bahai-library.com/ballenger_master_humorist)

Another attitude that Abdu’l-Baha had was to make fun of a Christian man who had an ugly wife and the manner that they copulated. This is what Khalil Shahidi narrates in his memoirs:

“‘Abdu’l-Bahá used to say, “I asked him, ‘What do you do with her?’ And he responded, ‘I turn off the light.’” ‘Abdu’l-Bahá would then smile.” (Khali Shahidi, Translated by Ahang Rabbani, A lifetime With ‘Abdu’l-Bahá Reminiscences of Khalíl Shahídí p. 79)

He would also insult Muslims by portraying them to western visitors as being people who regarded madmen as sacred and their speech being the utterance of God:

“For instance, this was a story which he (Abdul Baha) told me, to illustrate the superstition and ignorance of the Moslem officials. It should be first explained that the Mohammedan regards the madman as a sacred person and the utterances of the insane as the utterances of Allah; and also that the dog throughout the East is nothing but a despised pariah.

"I was one day visiting the Mutessarif of Akka, a Kurd, when a madman entered the garden in which we were seated. His demeanour was wild, and his shirt blew open and displayed a bare chest. All rose to their feet as soon as they perceived his insane condition, and the Mutessarif gave the madman the seat of honour. In a moment a dog strayed in through the gate which the madman had left open, and barked at the company. Then said the Mutessarif to the madman, with great respect, ' Tell us, pray, Effendi, what the dog is saying.' The madman replied, ' I don't know.' 'Surely your Excellency understands the language of dogs?' 'I don't know,' repeated the madman. 'But I am certain that if your Excellency wished you could translate for us what the dog said.'

"Then the madman turned and said to the Mutessarif, maliciously, 'Who told you that I could speak Kurdish? '"” (E. S. Stevens, Abbas Effendi: His personality, work, and followers, Fortnightly Review, Volume 95, pages 1067-1084, Chapman and Hall, 1911)

Covenant Breakers

He would also mock covenant breakers and display them as stupid people by frequently narrating this disturbing story and heartily laughing:

“This egotistical man had two dimwitted and unintelligent sons: Husayn and Hasan. ‘Abdu’l-Bahá used to relate to this effect, “When speaking with Me, Siyyid Mihdí would greatly extol and praise Hasan’s astuteness, saying that the lad was most intelligent. There was a herd of goats at Bahjí. [While playing,] each of the Bahá’í kids was holding the udder of one of the goats, imbibing their milk. However, he [Hasan] was holding a male goat, imbibing it, and saying, ‘This is salty.’” When telling this story He would laugh heartily.” (Khali Shahidi, Translated by Ahang Rabbani, A lifetime With ‘Abdu’l-Bahá Reminiscences of Khalíl Shahídí p. 72).

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